Decision Made

So on my last post, I talked about how my doctor wants me to either wait a month or until I lose 20 lbs...well, I think I've finally made a decision on it. And to tell you the truth...it's going to one of my harder ones. I've been thinking about this really hard since I last saw the doctor.

I've....yes, just me (Logan was either way which didn't help much)...have decided that I am going to wait and go back to my main goal when I started to see Dr.Wheeler. I have to get down to my goal weight or half way before I think about having a baby. Right now I have about 40 lbs left to lose to get me in the 130's. I want to have it all gone though. I was talking to my sister (who by the way when through her own health problems like IR, Cervix Cancer and what not...which she has cured/is able to control them). She talked about how easier it would be for me to control my conditions if I had lost all the weight and manage to get everything under control. Plus it would also help out with the pregnancy itself. When I thought about this I thought that there was no way that I was going to be able to get through another miscarriage the way that I did this time...it would just be too hard for me and I would probably end up in depression for a while. With losing all the weight or even half, it would be easier for me to hold the baby full term too. It will also give me a chance to do a full body detox which I have been meaning to do for a while.

I know that I am going to have troubles along the way but I really think this is what I am suppose to do. I may get down a lot about everyone having a second, third or maybe even fourth kid but I know in the end, I will be healthy and happy and so will my kids.