From my last post...things are not looking good for my health or getting pregnant. I have a lot of emotions going through me. I know there is a lot that I have to do health-wise. But there is so much more to it. I have a lot of worries going through my head. I know I shouldn't really worry or stress about it but there's just no way that I can't worry about. Anyways, here is a list of the things that are on my mind ALWAYS:
1) This whole specialist thing: I worry about this whole specialist thing because I was able to get pregnant when I wasn't so health...but healthier than I was about 3 years ago. I am so confused. Yes it's been a year since I have gotten pregnant but there may be something that I did there that I am not doing and I've thought about it and the only thing that I was doing than that I am not doing now is I am not taking the metformin...I am starting to wonder if I really should of came off that medicine now.
2) Insurance: So Logan thought that the insurance would cover most of the money that will involved the treatment but it covers nothing. So now I have to look into getting a secondary insurance or waiting until we have insurance from Logan's new working place (he was given the ok to go get a part-time job) and seeing if they cover anything. If not than we will have to talk to the doctor's office (which ever one I end up going to) about not being on insurance and seeing if they will reduce the price for us in a way. If not we will have to wait until we can save up enough money that we could get started on it.
3) Money: I know for a fact that this whole specialist thing isn't cheap. We don't have a lot of money saved up due to loans being payed off...mostly my school loans. Due to this...we may just have to wait a few months before I can actually get in. It's kind of depressing that I have to wait for so long but I'm hoping it will work out in the end.
4) I know this sounds mean and all but I HATE the fact that people keep telling me (or other woman) that I (we) should not stress over it and it will happen or just forget about it and it will happen! Do they even know the pain woman go through who have infertility problems. Don't get me wrong...I am family members who tell me this and I don't have this feeling towards them...it's the people that I don't even know who tell me something like this when they think they know everything about me and my life. Oh! Something else that bugs me...I have talked to a lot of mom's out there and most of them keep asking me if I really want the responsible of rising children! How dare them! I've dreamed of having my own children and rising them to be the greatest that they can be. It's one of my dreams that I have waited so long for to be fulfilled.
Overall, I just hope that there is nothing else wrong with me...I think I've had enough bad news for the year...I want to start over and get better results. But life can throw so many curve balls that it's not funny at all. I am hoping that we will be lucky enough to get pregnant next year with out any trouble and what not.
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