One Of The Worst Days Of Our Lives

So last posted talked about how my body was acting like it was pregnant...well I was. It was so exciting! We was so happy. I found out that I was 8 weeks along. I immediately called my doctors office February 1st when I found out. Anyways, the appointment was on that Friday the 3rd. Right after I found out I called Logan. It was so funny! He had a hard time believing that he was going to be a father. It almost took him...I'm thinking about 4 hrs before it sink in. That night to celebrate we went looking at baby stuff to get an idea of what it was going to be like shopping for it. The next few day was amazing! Logan really got into being a father and looking at what would be the best crib, car seat and etc. that we can afford for the baby and rubbing my tummy a lot.

Anyways, Friday round around and I went to the doctors. Dr. Wheeler was so happy for us! She told me to change my supplements and to schedule an appointment with an OB named Susie Binegar. She talked about what we should be aware of like most doctors do. After the appointment Dr. Wheeler sent me to get blood works for HCG levels, Progesterone level and an OB panel. I also schedule my first prenatal appointment for the Feb 22nd. Logan had to skip class for this and he said he won't missed the appointment for the world.

I went on with the day. I went to my mom's work and told her the good news along with my brother Korey. I also told the rest of my siblings (my sister Amanda was the first one to know out of my family because she always told me about hers when she found out), and Dad. I also asked them to not to tell anyone yet because I still didn't really know how far long I was. After that, I had to watch my niece and nephew for a few hours. Logan and I had the joy of tell them about how there was a baby in my "tummy". They were so happy. Taylor keep telling me it was going to be a girl and Oaklen was tell me it was a boy. A little after five I got a called from the doctors office said that I will need to get another HCG level test done. At that moment, I had this bad feeling...I told Logan about it and he try to calm me down. First off, I really shouldn't be stressing about a little blood work or it's results.

After he calm me down, we went to Logan's mom's house. We had hoped that there was going to be everyone there but only Logan and I, Barbara (Logan's mom), Kat and Natalie. Amanda had gone to Pocatello for the evening for a bridal shower and Nathan was helping out one of Kat's sisters. So I gave Logan the joy of telling his family about the baby. The reacting that we got wasn't what we was expecting but it was so funny! When Logan announced it, Kat said "I knew it!!! I was right"....we all kind of just looked at her in amusement. I guessed that Nathan and Kat both had guessed that I was pregnant the weekend BEFORE!!! I asked how she figured it out and she said that I was really happy and glowing. She than pulled out a little ones for us. It was so cute!! And I told her that I was going to tell everyone that Kat was the once one to get the baby something. Then all the questions started to be asked:

Due date: September 7-14 ( I was pretty sure that it was going to come on the 15th instead)
Names: I'm not going to post them...we kind of wanted to wait until the baby gets here. But we did have a girl's name but Logan and I had not decided on a boy's name yet.
Ultrasound: again...February 22nd.
What did we think it was: I had a pretty strong impression that it was going to be a boy.

I know we got asked a lot of question but I thought I would just put the commons ones on.

During the stay, I feel really weird...kind of panicking. I had started to spotting (which I told the doctor about and she said it was normal for first time pregnancy) a lot more...it started turning red. So I called my sister and she said that it may be a miscarriage or a period. I talked to my doctor again and she said take it easy for the weekend just in case so I did. I went out for a game and that's about it.

Sunday morning I just felt so tired. Logan went to church and I stay at home trying to get some rest, but as the day when by I really started to panic. I called Amanda again just to see if she can help me stop but once I got off the phone, I knew something wasn't right. Just after 2 I tried calling Logan but he didn't pick up. So I jumped in the shower thinking maybe that's all I need. When I was about to get out Logan got home and walked in  to see how I was doing. As I stopped showering, I felt like I was going to faint so I told Logan. Lucky, Logan was there to catch me while I passed out. After I woke up feeling so dizzy and I had to go to the bathroom. After that I knew I was losing the baby. Logan got me to the ER between 3-3:30. I was amazing at how fast they got me back to a room but than I had to do blood test,urine test and 2 ultrasounds. During the beginning of all the tests, I had Logan called our parent to let them know. We got a hold of my parents but not Logan's mom so he left a message to call him back. By the time we got done with the ultrasounds, we got a call from Logan's mom. We told her what was going on and she immediately left home and came to see us. When she got there we was still waiting for the news. When she walked in the room and just started crying again (I don't know how many times I cried while I was in the ER) and I kept on apologizing to her and Logan. Final the doctor came and give us the bad news. We had lost the baby...but I was doing fine. It was happening naturally so the doctor wasn't so worry about me besides it being my first pregnancy. He told me to go home and rest. He put me on bed rest for about a week. I had to call in work and tell them the news, lucky, they worked everything out with me peacefully. By that time, it was already 7pm and all I wanted to do was go home, take a shower, eat something, and have a blessing. Logan and Nathan both gave it to me over at Barbara's house that night.

Today, the bleeding has finally stop. I'm still tired from the miscarriage for many reasons (stupid nightmares). I had a doctor's visit with Dr. Wheeler. She was so sad to hear the news. But she also found out that I needed MMR shot. I am not immune to ruballa at the moment. A pregnant woman needs to be at the least a 5...I was a 4.1. So she told me to schedule a shot at health district and I had to get the shot before the next time we try for a kid and than we would have to wait a month before trying. She also told me that my HCG levels wasn't doing it's job...we don't really know that for sure tho. She decided the next time that I get pregnant to call at once and so they can get me in to do the panels and put me on some supplement to help me with my HCG levels during the pregnancy.

It's so weird how 4 to 5 days knowing that you are pregnant and than losing it was so fast. It was one of the hardest moments in our lives. I do not wish to go through that again. I will not pull Logan through it either. He had cried so much and tried to stay strong for me but it was hard for the both of us.